Authenticity.

I’m getting seriously tired of that word.

It’s everywhere.

I admit I use it too—way too much.  And everywhere I turn, I find an article about it.  Bloggers are wringing the juice out of the concept.

Yeah, I get it.  I need to be authentic.

You get it too, don’t you? You strive to be authentic, right?

You probably do.  People who don’t give a rip about being authentic rarely read blogs like this one.

But are you REALLY being authentic?

I’d be willing to bet Ducky (and you all know how much I love Ducky) that you’re not being as authentic as you think you are.  You probably are more authentic than you used to be, but you may be stuck at a new level of authenticity that isn’t quite the real deal.

Acceptable Authenticity

I’ve recently realized I haven’t been nearly as authentic as I claim I am.  Sure, I’ve made uncommon life choices.  Yes, I buck the trends and the acceptable ways to live.  But am I totally free to do things my way?

Heck, no.

I have achieved what I now understand is “acceptable authenticity.”

Acceptable authenticity is being authentic within the bounds of what other people will see as okay.  You’re being yourself, but you’re not being SO much of yourself that others will thing you’ve dropped off the deep end and landed on a slide that will lead you right into the loony bin.

When I say “other people,” I mean the people you have chosen to have in your life.  The funny thing about authenticity is that when we set out to be authentic, instead of truly standing on our own, we just change peer groups.  We leave behind a group that wouldn’t like what we’re doing and find a group that “gets us.”  But then, we find ourselves trying to fit within that new group.

Not long ago, I had a conversation with a friend who has a blog.  She told me about some paranormal experiences she had and said she was thinking about sharing them with her readers—a group of people she’s consciously chosen and attracted based on her “authentic” way of being.  “But I don’t want people to think I’m a kook,” she said.

Not long after that, I was thinking about writing a post about parallel realities and Bashar, who I mentioned when I wrote about following your highest excitement, and I caught myself thinking the same thing my friend did—I don’t want my readers (people who wouldn’t be here if they weren’t drawn to the “authentic” me) to think I’m a kook.

The Kook Test

This desire to be an Anti-Kook is one we all have.  No one wants people to think they’re crazy or stupid or silly or any of those other “negative” words we use to describe people who have taken leave of their senses.

Even people who pride themselves on being “out there” don’t want to seem TOO out there.  They only want to be out there enough to fit with the others who are out there with them.

So we all have this sort of internal Kook Test we apply to what we do.  We ask ourselves, “What will they think if I do this?”  “They” are the peers we’ve chosen to fit in with.

It’s reasonable and understandable that we do this.  We all want to be loved and respected, and we think we need to avoid kook status to have that love and respect.

But the kook test is a barrier to full authenticity.  It’s a box that keeps us from fully being who we are.

The Truth About Kookiness

Where would we be without the kooks?  Really?

Let’s think of just a few:  Galileo, Columbus, the Wright Brothers, Thomas Edison, Henry Ford.

Kooks.  Every single one of them.  Total lunatics.

I don’t know about you, but I’d like to be a part of that lunatic club.

The truth is that kookiness is a necessary part of brilliance, innovation, and genius.  Kookiness is the foundation of achievement and wonder.

Kookiness is the key to fully being who you are.  AND THEREFORE, kookiness is what will get you love and respect … and joy.

Ticket To Joy

The only love and respect you really need is your own.  If you have that, you won’t need or want anyone else’s love and respect.

If you get it, great.  But you won’t need it.

And once you have that love and respect, you also have joy.  Nothing gets you to full-on, want to whoop at the top of your lungs and dance a jig joy better than feeling suffused with love and respect.

Think about it.  Really think about it.  Don’t you do much of what you do because, at the core, you think these things will bring you love and respect?

Can you imagine how awesome you’d feel if you had all the love and respect you need NOW?

In order to get that level of feel good, you have to be you and only you.

You have to stop caring one tiny bit about whether someone thinks something you’re doing, saying, or believing is kooky … or “wrong.”

You have to care about one thing and one thing only:  does what you’re doing and being feel right to YOU.

I’ve started living that way, and I have to tell you that it feels darn good.  I’m pretty sure it’s a feeling similar to what Ducky feels when I take her to the beach and unhook her from the leash.

It’s a free-flowing rush.

And I believe it leads to greatness.

I’ll let you know how that unfolds for me. 

In the meantime, I encourage you to take a look at how authentic you’re letting yourself be.  Are you still caring about what someone thinks of how you look or how you sound?  Do you care about whether someone thinks what you do is good or not?  Do you care if someone thinks your beliefs are insane?

Be really honest here.  It’s easy to say you don’t care but then feel the pinch in your gut after someone disapproves or criticizes you, that pinch that tells you that you DO care.

If you are still looking to others (even if it’s a select group of others) to give you parameters of okayness, here’s how to shift to inner okayness:

1.  Imagine that you live in a world where there is only one entity you HAVE to please. (Hint:  you do live in such a world.)  Think of this person as The Boss Of You.

2.  Make that person look like you.

3.  Imagine that The Boss Of You doesn’t speak but instead communicates his or her approval or disapproval by making you feel either good or bad.  If you feel good, The Boss Of You likes what you’re doing or thinking.  If you feel bad, The Boss Of You doesn’t like what you’re doing or thinking.

4.  Now use that feel good/feel bad system to replace the Kook Test.

Note that this is an entirely internal system that has nothing to do with what anyone else thinks of what you’re doing.

When you live like this, you’re being authentic.  And you never need to use that word or read an article about authenticity ever again.

It comes down to this:

You are YOU and all you have to do is DO YOU STUFF.  And nothing else matters.

Here’s a fun video to help you get the hang of it:

Fast Tube by Casper

What do you think?  Have you achieved real authenticity or acceptable authenticity?  Have you already thrown out the Kook Test?  If not, are you ready to let it go?

———————————————————————————————————————-

You are worthy, valuable, and powerful.  Don’t feel that way?  This video will remind you of what a treasure you really are:

Fast Tube by Casper

Get your copy of Fly Danny, Fly at Pig Up Station.

———————————————————————————————————————-

In my recent feedback survey, a reader asked for help with resentment and envy.

Who among us hasn’t felt resentment and envy?  Who hasn’t had that knife-in-the-gut feeling of longing that comes when we see someone with something we want and don’t have?

Resentment and envy and jealousy are splats of the worse kind—they’re the kind of chronic splats that tend to ooze into all aspects of life and poison everything.

What can you do about these excruciating states?

Get Out Of The Museum

Here’s the set-yourself-free truth about resentment and envy:

When you feel envy or jealousy or resentment, you’re living as if you’re in a museum.

In a museum, you can’t have what you’re looking at.  Most of the time, you can’t even touch it.  You certainly can’t take it home.  It’s not yours.  You can only gaze upon it with awe or longing.

Envy and resentment come from longing.  They come from feeling like someone has something you want and you not only don’t have it, you think you CAN’T have it.

If you knew you could have anything that others had, you wouldn’t feel resentment or envy.  You’d feel excitement.  You’d feel enthusiasm and anticipation.

Move Into The Mall

The way to trade resentment and envy for enthusiasm and anticipation is to step into a Mall Mindset.

A Mall Mindset is the knowing that if you have a desire for something, no matter what it is, you can have the essence of that desire. You may not get it in exactly the detailed way you desire it (or you might), but you’ll get the core of it, the gist of it, the most important part of it.

This mindset is an awareness that you live in an abundant universe with all experiences and things lined up for you to choose from.  Nothing in this universe is off limits to you like it is in a museum.  What he or she has can be yours too.  There’s no reason to resent or envy anyone when you have a Mall Mindset.

Choose By Focus

My friend and the funny, insightful author of Abraham-Hicks-based wisdom, Karen Money Williams, wrote, “Envious of someone? They got what they have by focusing on their desire and not on lack. You can do the same.”

This is it in a nutshell. This is how you remove envy and resentment from your life.

In the mall of life, you get what you want by the focus on what you desire with a knowing that you can have it.  That’s how everyone gets what they have.  So if they got it, you can too.

The next time you feel resentment or envy or jealousy, try this exercise:

1.  Close your eyes and imagine you’re standing in an endless mall that has every single thing you’ve ever wanted and things you haven’t even realized yet that you’re going to want someday.  Heck—this mall even has stores full of soul mates and the perfect friends and family and pets.

Picture the floor, the walls, the shops, and the people.  Picture colors and styles and textures that make you feel good.  Hear the music being played over the speakers.  Smell the enticing smells from the mall’s extensive food court (it has all your favorite foods and ones that might be your favorite in the future).  Wander through the mall just as you would a real life mall.

2.  As you wander, pretend you’re carrying a bottomless purse that has all the money necessary to buy anything and everything in this mall.  Know you can get anything.

3.  Bask for a few minutes in the glorious feeling of this abundance and your access to it.

4.  Open your eyes and think again about the person or thing that triggered the envy or resentment you felt.  Say to yourself, “I can have that!”

If you do this exercise the next few times you feel envy or resentment or jealousy, you’ll find these states completely disappear from your life.

I used to feel envy and resentment a lot.  Years ago, I’d gladly have made voodoo dolls in likenesses of some of the most successful authors and happily stuck pins in them.  Not anymore.  I know that any success I see can be mine too.

When you live in a Mall Mindset, everything you see triggers an enthusiastic, “I can have that!”

What’s your experience with envy and resentment?  Have you been able to release the longing and embrace the, “Yes, I can have that!” attitude?

———————————————————————————————————————-

If you are starting to understand the power of your emotions and your vibration and how they attract to you things you desire, you know it serves you to feel good.  But how can you feel good in a world full of not-so-good things?  Jusducky’s going to show you an easy way to do it:

Fast Tube by Casper

Want to connect with Ducky?

Ducky’s A DJ! Listen To Ducky’s Upbeat Musical Selections on Blip.fm

Visit Ducky At The Joyful Springer, where you can get Daily Bites of Doggone Inspiration For Awesome Living . Ducky’s the star, but she shares the stage with other dogs and cats who are “springing into joy.”

Follow Ducky On Twitter

Connect with Ducky On Facebook

———————————————————————————————————————-

I promised you last week that I’d reveal this week why following what Bashar calls your “highest excitement” is the way to a life of extraordinary joy and productivity.  So here you go:

It’s A Jungle Out There

Imagine you’re standing in the middle of a dense jungle.  All you can see in front of you is a wall of moist vegetation.  All you can hear are the whirs and clicks of insects and the more disconcerting roars and hisses of critters you’d rather not meet up close and personal.

Imagine you want to get to a temple that’s somewhere in this jungle.  You know it’s there because you have this friend who lives on the tallest mountaintop in the land, and this friend can see the temple.   Your friend has told you vaguely where the temple is.  But you have no compass and you can’t see the temple because it’s miles into the nearly solid wall of trees and underbrush, so you don’t know the best route to follow to get to there.

This imaginary scenario isn’t all that imaginary. It’s a visual of where you stand in relation to the things you want in your life.  (And for the record, it’s not my metaphor—it’s one Bashar uses.)

So now think about what you’re going to do to find that temple.  You have a couple choices.

Hack And Sweat OR Trust And Follow

Your first choice for getting where you want is to plow straight ahead into all those vines and trees.

To do this, you have to work pretty hard.  You need something to hack at the green stuff with maybe a machete or some other sharp implement.  You need to put a bunch of effort into it.  You need to sweat and strain and struggle.

Your second choice is to establish communication with that friend on the mountaintop, to trust what the friend tells you, and to follow the friend’s guidance.

Since the friend can see you and the temple, the friend can tell you which way to go.  The friend can tell you to go left and a little behind you even though what you want is straight ahead because your friend can see there’s a bit fire ant hill on the other side of the tree in front of you.  The friend can find you the easiest and ultimately most direct route to that temple.

We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Cell Phone

We live in a physical world, so when we think of communication, we think of things like cell phones.  But we don’t need a cell phone to get communication from that friend on the mountaintop.

That friend is your inner guidance, your higher self, your divine spark, or God.  That friend is the source energy that is pure knowing, connected to all aspects of the universe.

That friend sees the way from where you are to everything you want.

And the way that friend communicates with you is via your impulses, your whims, and your inspiration.  In other words, it speaks to you via your highest excitement.

You & I Don’t Know Squat

If you want to have all your desires, you need to face, once and for all, that you don’t know how to get where you want to go.  You may think you do, but you don’t.

If you think you know exactly how to get what you want, you’re as deluded as the male without a map who refuses to stop at a gas station to get directions to Aunt Milly’s house.

The best you can do without some guidance is reason or logic yourself into getting what you want.  Reason and logic are machetes.  They’re the hard work way of “making things happen.”

The difference between what our physical minds know and what our higher selves or God knows is like the difference between a gnat and an elephant.  Genius is the stuff of the divine realm, not the limited physical realm.

Easy Street

I’m not going to repeat what I said last week.  If you didn’t read last week’s post about following your highest excitement, or what I call BTIPing, now’s the time.  It’s good stuff.  Really.  It’s about how to make your path through life “easy street” instead of the struggle of a clogged freeway or a pot-holed thoroughfare.

Since I started following my friend on the mountaintop instead of my own limited ideas about how to get where I want to go, I have gone from frustrated, often-overwhelmed and stressed to being happier than I’ve ever been.  I’m productive.  I’m jazzed.  I’m lit up.  I’m on my way to that temple; I have no doubts at all that I’ll get there.   And the trip will be a pure joy because I have my friend telling me exactly when to take a step and how big a step to take.

The next time you’re tempted to struggle ahead with shoulds or “have tos,” remind yourself of your position in the jungle and remember your friend on the mountaintop.  Take a breath and ask yourself, “What do I feel most drawn to do in this moment?”  Finding the best path through your life is that easy.

Have you tried any BTIPing since last week?  How’s it going?  Have you noticed things going more smoothly when you follow guidance instead of making yourself do things you think you should do?

Are you plagued by doubts?  Do you get moving on something and then start second-guessing yourself? Watch this video to find out what to do about these energy-zapping thoughts:

Fast Tube by Casper

———————————————————————————————————————-

Have you bought into the common wisdom that your goals have to be clearly delineated?  Do you think you have to be super clear about where you’re going with your future?  Do you think you have to have a plan?

About 25 years ago, I spent three days creating what I thought was one of the best goal lists ever written.  It was ten pages long, and it detailed every goal I had for the coming years.  I had it all broken down into daily goals, weekly goals, and monthly goals.  I had goals for the coming year, the coming five years, and then for every ten year chunk after that.

Proud as all get out about my accomplishment, I carried my masterpiece to my therapist at the time, Debby.  I handed it to her like a dog presenting a prize bone to her master.  I asked her, “What do you think?” And I sat back waiting for her to give me a nice pat on the head (figuratively, of course).

She flipped through the ten pages and after several moments said, HERE “Do you want me to tell you what I think you should do with this?”

“Yes, please!”  I was sure she had some laudatory wisdom to share.

She dropped the list in the waste basket.

Goals Schmoals

It took me a very long time before I understood why Debby did what she did.  A VERY long time … as in 25 years.

It’s only recently that I’ve come to understand that all the people who teach you to map out your goals are … I’ll put this kindly … misguided.

Or rather, it might work for some people, but it doesn’t work for everyone—as some life coaches and self help teachers want you to believe.

There’s actually a better—or at least much more fun—way to live a fulfilling, successful life.

I’ve recently completely and utterly given up goals.  Not just big, long-term goals, but short term goals too.

I have no more daily lists of things to do.  I have no more spreadsheets.  No more stickies.

I have stopped planning out my life.

What?  No Plans??????

Now, does the fact that I’ve stopped planning and setting goals mean I never make an appointment to meet with someone or be someplace?

Of course not.

I still do specific things at specific times, but when I follow through with them, it’s because it’s my highest excitement to do so. And I do it in a way that’s my highest excitement as well.

And does not planning mean I have no vision of my future?

No way.  I still do mental scripts of things I desire.  I still write descriptions of things I’d like to experience.  But these are just ways for me to focus my thought, and I only do them when I feel like it.

Not planning means that instead of having my days all laid out and governed by to do lists, I just let my days unfold.

I have one “goal” for each day.  But I don’t think of it as a goal.  I think of it as an intention.

That intention is to follow my “highest excitement.”

Your Highest Excitement

“Highest excitement” is a Bashar term.

[Note: If you’ve never heard of Bashar and you’re more of a mainstream thinker, never mind about him and who he is.  Just listen to what I’ve learned about highest excitement.  If you accept channeling and out-of-the-box concepts like extraterrestrials, feel free to listen to Bashar himself.  I’ve put a video of him explaining the concept at the bottom of this post]

“Highest excitement” is basically the same thing as “follow your bliss.”  It’s what Abraham calls “the path of least resistance.”  You can also think of it as your intuition or your biggest whim.  My personal favorite way to think of it is as what I call BTIPing.

BTIP is my acronym for Best Toy In Pile. I thought of it when I watched Ducky rooting around in her huge basket of toys.  That’s what your highest excitement is:  picking the best toy in the pile in any given moment.

The pile is the totality of options you have before you, what you’re capable of doing in this moment.  The best toy is the action (or nonaction) that lights you up the most, the one you’re drawn to.

BTIPing is sort of like “tripping” but without the drugs.  (For the record, I’ve never been tripping except for one time when I got morphine in the ER ).

So I’ve been BTIPing, following my highest excitement, and I have to tell you, I’m happier than I’ve ever been, AND I’m doing a lot of great stuff.

When You BTIP, You Won’t Stop Doing

When I told one friend about my new way of being, she said, “Doesn’t doing away with discipline make you lazy?”

No way.

You’ll notice that I’m still creating a couple blog posts a week.  I’m still exercising.  I still brush my teeth.  I still meditate.

In fact, in the last several weeks since I started BTIPing, I’ve written and edited a novel.  I’ve done writing coaching for a new client.  I’ve created synopses of other novels.  I’ve worked on a logo for The Joyful Springer and started setting up a Zazzle shop for it.  I’ve done all sorts of things around the house.  I’ve taken care of Ducky.  Not to bore you with the details of my life … you get the idea.

But Don’t You Forget Things?

It may seem counter-intuitive to the way you were raised, but when you give up your reminders, you tend to remember more. I used to rely on stickies to be sure I uploaded videos at the right time or got what I went to the store to get.

But since I’ve begun following my highest excitement, I recall just what I need to recall just when I need to recall it.  It becomes my highest excitement to get lettuce and broccoli and tomato soup, so I get them.

It’s working for Tim too.  When I told him about BTIPing, he got into it immediately.  Tim has had lots of trouble with forgetfulness, but now he just seems to know when he it’s time to do something.  He doesn’t try to remember it; he just does remember it because it becomes his highest excitement.

Want an example of how this can work out on a grander scale?

Check out Rick Genest.

“You Gotta Do What You Love”

You may not have heard of Rick Genest.  I hadn’t until a friend sent me a link to an article about him.

Ten years ago, Rick decided to get his whole body tattooed so he’d look like a cadaver.  Yup.  That was what he wanted to do.

Now, did he do this because he had a goal of being noticed?  Did he want to be a model or an actor or a circus performer?

Nope.  He just thought it sounded like a cool thing to do.  As he says, “You gotta do what you love or else you’ll be doing something you hate.”

Most people he told about his idea thought he was nuts.  He didn’t care.

He didn’t care about the future either.  He was just following his highest excitement.

And now?

Well, his unique, if not universally appealing, tattoos have gotten him jobs with fashion designer Thierry Mugler and pop star Lady Gaga.  And it’s landed him a part in an upcoming Keanu Reeves film.

He didn’t go after these gigs.  They found him.

He expended no EFFORT.  He had no AGENDA.  He didn’t TRY.  He used no DISCIPLINE.

That’s the beauty of BTIPing or following your highest excitement.  You take the struggle out of life.  You create a life of flow.

Keep It Simple

If you’re BTIPing properly, life gets easy.  You never have to “figure out” what to do.  It’s not about finding your highest calling or purpose either.

To follow your highest excitement, all you do is

1.  Be aware of all the options you currently have available to you.

2.  Choose the one that appeals to you the most (the one that excites you or draws you the most.)

I used to think that as long as I didn’t have complete financial freedom to do whatever I wanted, I couldn’t follow my bliss.  But this simple way of doing it doesn’t require total freedom.

For example, at the moment, Tim’s choices are often limited to what he can do within the confines of his two jobs.  Does that mean he can’t follow his highest excitement?  No.

What he does when he’s at work is choose to do and focus on what appeals to him the most within the array of choices he has available to him in his work.  He says that since he’s started doing that, his work has gone much more smoothly and has been a lot more fun.

If you have things you need to do, do them.  Just do them in a way that is your highest excitement.

Why does this work?

I’m going to save the answer to that question for next week.  For now, if it feels good to you, I suggest you just try a little BTIPing and see how you feel.

The idea that you have to map out your route to get where you want to go is an old idea.  It may work for car travel, but it’s not necessary for living a happy and successful life.

In fact, I think too much goal setting is one of the biggest causes of splats because we end up trying to manhandle our lives, and we often manhandle them into splats.

What do you think? Do you have experience with following your bliss or your intuition?  Do you think you have to have discipline to get what you want?  Or do you think if you let go of the reins, you’ll be led to your best choices?

Here’s Bashar on “highest excitment:

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OB-NLlwzfOM]

———————————————————————————————————————-

Are you frustrated by the law of attraction?  Do you feel like nothing you want is coming your way?  It could be you’re getting too bogged own in details.  Watch this video to discover the joys of “essence.”

Fast Tube by Casper

Note:  The Paypal donation page will say “The Joyful Springer.” The Joyful Springer is Ducky’s other website job, where she hosts all sorts of wonderful dogs and cats who help inspire happy living.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Want to connect with Ducky?

Ducky’s A DJ! Listen To Ducky’s Upbeat Musical Selections on Blip.fm

Visit Ducky At The Joyful Springer, where you can get Daily Bites of Doggone Inspiration For Awesome Living . Ducky’s the star, but she shares the stage with other dogs and cats who are “springing into joy.”

Follow Ducky On Twitter

Connect with Ducky On Facebook

———————————————————————————————————————-

Have you ever had an idea to do something, done some research, and discovered that someone else is already doing it?  Have you let that oh-I’m-too-late-I-missed-my-chance splat stop you from pursuing your idea?

Here’s your short, sweet message for the day:

Never, ever back away from doing something just because someone else has already done it.  You can ALWAYS put your own authentic imprint on the already-done.

Don’t believe me?

What could be older and more done-to-death than Old McDonald Had A Farm?

Check this out (trust me—it will make you smile):

Fast Tube by Casper

Do you have something you want to do?  Forget the market research and the analyzing whether you can “”compete.”  Who cares if a gazillion other people are doing the same thing?

Just go do what you want to do!

Do it in your way.  Do it with passion.  Do it with joy.

And like Edward Reid, you will receive the “ovation” you deserve!

Note:  Tune in next week for some advice on how to let your passions lead you into an awesome feel-good place!

Thanks to Up From Splat reader, Kathleen, for bringing this video to my attention!!

———————————————————————————————————————-

Last week, I promised I’d give you another way to remove Fickle Thinking Syndrome from your life.  And that way is by removing another block to having the happiness you want. This additional block is “Desire Disguise.”

Watch this video to find out how your perceptions could be creating “Desire Disguise” that’s keeping you from having the life you want and how to remove that disguise:

Fast Tube by Casper

———————————————————————————————————————-